Emma has been sick all day. She does this sometimes; there's no fever, no real signs of illness, but she's lethargic and cries a lot. Typically, by the next day, she's fine. Meanwhile, she's spent most of the day sleeping and crying.
So today I had her on my bed and I was holding her while she slept on me. It was the same position in which she'd sleep when she was an infant, in those beautiful early days when I had nothing more important to do than to hold her on my stomach while she napped. Chest to chest, we laid there, just me and my little girl. I knew in that moment, as I've known for some time now, that those opportunities to just hold her as she sleeps are numbered, that each time I hold her I'm getting closer to the day when she won't want me to hold her any longer. And when those moments come, I cry.
I imagined, when I was younger, that I would have my kids while still in my 20s, and that I would definitely have more than one. Obviously, that didn't happen. I'm 40 and am a single mother with no prospects in sight. I'm not having any more little ones. I'm okay with this, too. I wish Emma had a sibling, but I don't wish for another child to support and worry over. This is hard enough with just one. But, on days like today when I get to hold Emma and feel her precious weight on my chest, I wish that I could have those early days back, when I could spend a day just holding her and kissing her little feet. I'm saddened that those days are over and that I'll never know them again. And I'm saddened that, each day, she needs me a bit less.
She's sleeping right now and that's a good thing. I'm sure that, by tomorrow, she'll feel much better, maybe even well enough to go to school. And I'll go to work and think about my sweet girl and the most recent time I got to snuggle with her, and that will hold me over.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Good use for bad yarn
I had this past Monday off for Presidents' Day and spent a bit of time organizing my stash. I wish I'd known then, when I was spending money on yarn, what I know now: the entire package matters to me. What I mean by this is that yes, I enjoy the process of creating knit items (aside from finishing, but that's beside the point) and I enjoy wearing and giving hand-knit garments and gifts. But if those items are made with yarn that pills or doesn't hold up or doesn't feel nice, then it negates all the good aspects of the project.
I bought lots of yarn when I was a grad student on a very tight budget, and now I find I'm overrun with my budget yarn. The bulk of it is Lion Brand Wool Ease, mostly worsted but a bit of Thick and Quick, and now I'm lamenting the cost of all this yarn that I won't use for garments (I have in the past and it pills terribly) and wishing I could undo all of it and use that money to go back and buy some really nice Malabrigo (which I hear is great but that I've never used) or alpaca of any kind.
Instead I'm going to make loads and loads of accessories - scarves and hats primarily - and will give those as gifts or will donate them. I in Ohio where winters get cold and I think that, when doubled and knit tightly, that worsted Wool Ease will make some nice hats for people who need easy-care items. I'm hoping to drop a load of hats off at a local women's shelter, probably not this year, but definitely before next winter.
As I write this, I realize that my title isn't really appropriate. "Bad" is subjective, isn't it? Is the yarn bad if it's being used correctly? I think the repurposing of the yarn makes a less-awesome yarn, well, awesome.
I bought lots of yarn when I was a grad student on a very tight budget, and now I find I'm overrun with my budget yarn. The bulk of it is Lion Brand Wool Ease, mostly worsted but a bit of Thick and Quick, and now I'm lamenting the cost of all this yarn that I won't use for garments (I have in the past and it pills terribly) and wishing I could undo all of it and use that money to go back and buy some really nice Malabrigo (which I hear is great but that I've never used) or alpaca of any kind.
Instead I'm going to make loads and loads of accessories - scarves and hats primarily - and will give those as gifts or will donate them. I in Ohio where winters get cold and I think that, when doubled and knit tightly, that worsted Wool Ease will make some nice hats for people who need easy-care items. I'm hoping to drop a load of hats off at a local women's shelter, probably not this year, but definitely before next winter.
As I write this, I realize that my title isn't really appropriate. "Bad" is subjective, isn't it? Is the yarn bad if it's being used correctly? I think the repurposing of the yarn makes a less-awesome yarn, well, awesome.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Homespun...blech!!
I started knitting an adorable zip-up hoodie from the Yarn Girls Guide to Knits for All Seasons (I posted an Amazon link for this book a couple days ago) in Lion Homespun, as I had some in my stash and thought it would work nicely. I bought it when I first started knitting; I was in library school at the time and didn't have lots of money for yarn but, beyond that, I liked Homespun. I liked the colors, I liked how it looked...I just liked it.
Then I started knitting with it.
That stuff is horrible! It's stiff and squeaky and it hurts my hands! I got a few inches into the hoodie and realized that never, never, would I wear this item. It just wasn't worth continuing.
The problem now is that I feel like I have to use that yarn. I can't just have yarn in my stash that sits and sits. Because it's acrylic, I think it will make easy-care items, so I'll use it for hats and scarves, maybe a small blanket or two (yes, I have that much of it!) which I'll donate to a local shelter. On the one hand, it might seem as though I'm donating items that I wouldn't use, but that's not really the case. I would definitely wear the stuff if I didn't hate working with it. I just know that, when all is said and done, my dislike of handling it is going to keep me from enjoying the wearing portion of our program. So away it will go...
I'd loved to hear from people who like Homespun, though. And if you have a beautiful project or two using Homespun, please share! Redeem this stuff for me, would you?
Then I started knitting with it.
That stuff is horrible! It's stiff and squeaky and it hurts my hands! I got a few inches into the hoodie and realized that never, never, would I wear this item. It just wasn't worth continuing.
The problem now is that I feel like I have to use that yarn. I can't just have yarn in my stash that sits and sits. Because it's acrylic, I think it will make easy-care items, so I'll use it for hats and scarves, maybe a small blanket or two (yes, I have that much of it!) which I'll donate to a local shelter. On the one hand, it might seem as though I'm donating items that I wouldn't use, but that's not really the case. I would definitely wear the stuff if I didn't hate working with it. I just know that, when all is said and done, my dislike of handling it is going to keep me from enjoying the wearing portion of our program. So away it will go...
I'd loved to hear from people who like Homespun, though. And if you have a beautiful project or two using Homespun, please share! Redeem this stuff for me, would you?
Monday, February 11, 2008
The perfect hat
The Fall 2006 issue of Knit Simple magazine has a pattern, Recipe for a Ribbed Hat (or something like that). I've followed this pattern again and again, making lots of hats for myself and for others. This is hat month for the KAL in which I'm participating (A Loose Knit Group, or alooseknitgroup on Yahoo groups). While I've got a few WIPs right now, hats (particularly this one) are super-quick and make me feel productive, so I finished one and am getting ready to cast on another.
This one, knit for my sweet girl, is made from Plymouth Baby Alpaca Grande Paint, and I love it. I wish I could buy loads of it, throw it into a pile, and take a long nap. It's that soft and yummy! Alas, I can only afford a skein or two; although it's not super expensive as far as good yarn goes, it's outside my yarn-for-garments budget. So I indulge myself (and Emma) by making small projects. Not a bad plan!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Loving the library
As I mentioned in my first post, I'm a librarian. You can safely assume that this means I love books. In fact, as I was sorting through my and my daughter's collections of books this morning, trying to decide what to donate to our local public library, it occurred to me that I am nearly incapable of saying goodbye to a book (aside from those crappy Harlequins that I used to adore...ahem). Anyway, as I said, I love books. Sadly, a librarian's salary doesn't allow one to purchase all the books she would like, particularly when that salary must also stretch to accommodate full-time child care costs. Thus, my love for libraries in general (which I felt, by the way, before becoming a librarian, so there).
Lately I've checked out what seems like a never-ending stream of knitting pattern books. I tend to gravitate toward those published by Interweave Press (my love of all things Interweave is for a later post). Today I checked out Lace Style and am itching to start knitting away. There are so, so, so many great patterns in there, far too many to mention. But I'll be adding them to my Ravelry queue so, if you're on Ravelry, take a peek and get inspired. Of course, I'm behind the curve where this book is concerned (it's copyright 2007), but Interweave patterns are rarely too trendy, which means whether I knit from this book next week or next year, the garments I create will be contemporary and stylish. For now, I'm finishing a seed-stitch cardigan for my daughter from the Yarn Girls' Guide to Kid Knits book, and a vest for myself from the Yarn Girls' Guide to Knits for All Seasons . I've also cast on the Lotus Blossom Tank from Interweave Knits Summer 2006, something I've been wanting to make for a long time. And yet, with my recent library check-outs, I have a serious case of start-itis.
Still, I think I'll just hold off until I've at least completed the Yarn Girls patterns. I only need to add buttons to the cardi, and the vest is about 75% finished. Certainly, once they're done, casting on a lace project won't hurt...right?
Lately I've checked out what seems like a never-ending stream of knitting pattern books. I tend to gravitate toward those published by Interweave Press (my love of all things Interweave is for a later post). Today I checked out Lace Style and am itching to start knitting away. There are so, so, so many great patterns in there, far too many to mention. But I'll be adding them to my Ravelry queue so, if you're on Ravelry, take a peek and get inspired. Of course, I'm behind the curve where this book is concerned (it's copyright 2007), but Interweave patterns are rarely too trendy, which means whether I knit from this book next week or next year, the garments I create will be contemporary and stylish. For now, I'm finishing a seed-stitch cardigan for my daughter from the Yarn Girls' Guide to Kid Knits book, and a vest for myself from the Yarn Girls' Guide to Knits for All Seasons . I've also cast on the Lotus Blossom Tank from Interweave Knits Summer 2006, something I've been wanting to make for a long time. And yet, with my recent library check-outs, I have a serious case of start-itis.
Still, I think I'll just hold off until I've at least completed the Yarn Girls patterns. I only need to add buttons to the cardi, and the vest is about 75% finished. Certainly, once they're done, casting on a lace project won't hurt...right?
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Jumping on the bandwagon
I've resisted a crafts blog for long enough. I have, in the past, blogged about random things, but I didn't blog my fiber work (mainly knitting, but crochet, too) mainly because I didn't see myself keeping up with it. I mean, writing about the stuff I see, hear, and think is one thing, but blogging AND updating with project information AND remembering to post pictures....gads!
Then I joined Ravelry (my screen name is emmasfabmom) and saw how all things yarn can come together in a glorious blend...and I wanted. I needed. I had to have a blog AND a Flickr account and, of course, every single book, magazine, project, and yarn that I own had to go into my Ravelry notebook. And then I wanted to buy more, more, MORE, all so I could put that into Ravelry, too! I'm a crazed Raveler, a total fiber-crafts spaz, and I knew that there was no avoiding the inevitable. So her I am.
A bit about me: I'm a librarian at a beloved (and, sadly, beleaguered) library in the Midwest. I'm a mom to a gorgeous little girl, Emma (thus the Ravelry screen name) who will be heading into kindergarten this fall...sigh. I've been crocheting for 15 years and resisted knitting for a long time, simply because it seemed so trendy. But with the trendiness came gorgeous patterns (something that crochet, for the most part, has not caught up with), and so after the first few rows of a simple scarf I was hooked. Now I knit and crochet and enjoy the positive aspects of both: the speed of crochet and the intricacy of knit. And, really, knit garments beat crochet ones hands down.
I anticipate that this blog will be a vehicle for displaying my work, but there's no way that I'll be able to resist blabbing about my life in general. I have opinions and they must be shared! But I also hope that this will be a comfortable place to visit and that my writing entertains. Please comment and come back often!
Then I joined Ravelry (my screen name is emmasfabmom) and saw how all things yarn can come together in a glorious blend...and I wanted. I needed. I had to have a blog AND a Flickr account and, of course, every single book, magazine, project, and yarn that I own had to go into my Ravelry notebook. And then I wanted to buy more, more, MORE, all so I could put that into Ravelry, too! I'm a crazed Raveler, a total fiber-crafts spaz, and I knew that there was no avoiding the inevitable. So her I am.
A bit about me: I'm a librarian at a beloved (and, sadly, beleaguered) library in the Midwest. I'm a mom to a gorgeous little girl, Emma (thus the Ravelry screen name) who will be heading into kindergarten this fall...sigh. I've been crocheting for 15 years and resisted knitting for a long time, simply because it seemed so trendy. But with the trendiness came gorgeous patterns (something that crochet, for the most part, has not caught up with), and so after the first few rows of a simple scarf I was hooked. Now I knit and crochet and enjoy the positive aspects of both: the speed of crochet and the intricacy of knit. And, really, knit garments beat crochet ones hands down.
I anticipate that this blog will be a vehicle for displaying my work, but there's no way that I'll be able to resist blabbing about my life in general. I have opinions and they must be shared! But I also hope that this will be a comfortable place to visit and that my writing entertains. Please comment and come back often!
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